Help wanted: UCLA needs you! (updated)
Posted: Saturday, December 15, 2007 8:13 PM
Although colorless and rather clinical, Duke’s public job posting for “football coach” was refreshing. Reading about the work expected from the person filling this position reaffirms the true essence of being the leader of a college football team. Much of that gets lost these days, especially when shady characters such as Bobby Petrino dominate the discussion.
Although the posting surely played no role in Saturday’s hiring of David Cutcliffe, as you would expect, Duke’s human resources department had all the nuts and bolts nailed down. Other schools still seeking head coaches should do the same, but with some slight changes. If they added a heavy dose of pure honesty into the mix, it would certainly result in a more effective process.
Think about it. If prospective candidates knew the real story right off the bat, a lot of time would be saved. For some coaches with wandering eyes this would mean actually focusing on their own bowl game preparations, which would be a novel idea for quite a few of these guys.
Here are some of the extras that would fit in well on a listing at UCLA. (Michigan comments removed after the news the school was hiring Rich Rodriguez).
- Must be willing to work for wage not comparable to that of colleagues in the field, yet spend most of it on suitable housing near campus.
- Must demonstrate the ability to operate effectively within the considerable shadow of Pete Carroll.
- Must demonstrate ability to compete for national championship or at least defeat Notre Dame when blessed with 20 returning starters.
- Must adhere to the highest ethical standards with regard to recruiting or operate with the cloaked effectiveness utilized by John Wooden.
- Working knowledge of sports psychology is preferred, as team has been known to be highly schizophrenic.
- Previous experience in winning second-tier bowl games is preferred.
- Musical ability is not required, but having the skills to play a harmonious second fiddle to men’s basketball program is a considerable plus.
- Previous head coaching experience at an elevated level has not been a requirement since 1971.
